Sunday, April 30, 2006

Rules for Bloggers

1. Do not post before reading what everyone else is saying first, or you may find yourself ostracized.

Ok, that started out as a witty satirical piece I started after reading only Jordan's and BG's posts on blogging from earlier this week (I am way, way behind). But, it went nowhere after that. Probably because I haven't read what everyone else has said.

What can I say, I am the ultimate follower.


So, I'm tooling around with bloglines, trying to determine just how far behind I really am when I click the wrong button and every post comes up in my window, thus marking them all read.

Yeah, I know I can tell bloglines to give me everything from the last X hrs. But, frankly, I know that 90% is going to be stuff I would have just skimmed through anyway. No, I won't tell you which 90%, and no, the "list" you're on has no bearing at all. It's strictly tied to what I find interesting today.

Because it's all about me, baby.

Then it hit me. I'll bet 90%... 95%... ok, 98% of the people that come to my little slice of the universe skim through what I read. It's not the same 98% every day. They just look to see if what I wrote today is interesting to them today, then move on.

"See ya tomorrow, BSN..."

(20 gay points to anyone that types that into my comments)

(50 gay points if you blog it)

Anyway, do you get it? You might have 10 readers or 200. Most of them aren't interested in what you wrote today. They are interested in you and like what you write from time to time, which is why they keep checking back. I know I've got blogs over there to the right that I linked to because I like the first post I saw, and haven't seen anything else worth the time since then (No, I'm not talking about you. Really.), but I still (try) take to take a few seconds each day to click the bloglines link and check them out, see how they're doing today (this week, notwithstanding). Most of the time, I wind up skimming.

Yeah, I'm starved for (semi) adult communication. Pathetic, at the very least. Compulsive, at the worst.


The first poker blog I ever found was Al's. It took me 3 months to work up the nerve to look for another one.


So, the diet is going well. I'm in blogging more regularly now over at RunFatAssRun. Down a number of pounds, and I'm hooked up with Fat Dan, Hoff, and Falstaff for the Pizza Money Pool challenge.

Oh, you think you can take me?

Bring it on, bitches. You're dead money to the big man. Weigh in is Monday. Be there or be fat, lardass.*

*You fucking well know this was written in jest, so un-wad your panties, Wilma.

Friday, April 28, 2006


Sorry about that weight loss post. Blogger For Word defaults to this blog and I sometimes forget to reset it.


Thought I was feeling better about pokah and gave a try at a $15 turbo. I played fantastic if I do say so myself. Made all the right calls, all the right moves.

Of course I bubbled. Blinds were 400/800, I was UTG and picked AQ and pushed vs A-3. He flopped 4-5-X. You know what hit on the river. I only had him covered by 35 chips. Buh-bye.


I'm bored out of my f-ing skull right now. The only good thing about being someplace this boring is that I'm getting alot of resumes out.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006


Personal to da’ home game player:

With your wife’s secretary?



Taking a break until next Monday. Didn’t win a single race yesterday. Not one. Not even the 3-outers. Plus, the one time I get AA in the last week, they got cracked by KK. I’m in a real bad frame of mind right now. 10 losing days in a row.

I withdrew everything to my Neteller account except for $200. When I start back, I plan to stick to the $15 turbos until I get my confidence back. I just can’t take the risk of doing something stupid with the last of my bankroll. I’d rather spend it than give it away to another cold-deck. I’ve steadily moved down in buy-ins the same way I moved up, but we all know that frustration can make a man do stupid things (see above) and since I’ve been solid with regard to managing my bankroll by my original guidelines, I thought I’d better maintain my grip on my sanity and money rather than risk ruin.

Through 642 SNGs, I had an ROI of 33%. By 680, I’m already down to 18%. THAT’S how bad it’s been. I’m 6/38 during this run, with 2 firsts, 3 seconds, and 1 third.

11  6th places.

In general, I’m either card dead early or picking up good drawing hands that don’t get there and don’t even have enough to snap off a bluff, so I wind up very short-stacked with 6 left. When you’re just not winning your share of races in these situations, the burn rate sucks. When you get your money in on the bubble with the best and lose every single time, it explodes. When you’re consistently losing to 2-outers, you’re toast.

It’s also not like everything is wine and roses in my personal life either, as I’ve documented already. Frustrations there and frustrations at the tables make BSN a dumb boy. The only happy side right now is over here.

1000 SNGs is supposedly the magic number to use as a minimum to determine the quality of SNG-player you are. I’m not there yet, so I just want to back off and catch my breath before dipping my toe back in the water. It’s a tough part of the cycle I have to endure right now, but I think it’s prudent that I step back and examine myself and my game and make sure I have solid strategies in place before continuing on this path. As of today, I’ve beaten the game for $6800 (including cashouts) since I started this challenge on 11/1. But, losing almost $1900 in one month is a bitter pill to swallow, especially since I was up almost $2700 at one point in the month – a $4600 turnaround.

Not g00t.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Monday stuff

I want to get to know this guy:

So, yesterday, I see the ex-inlaws. Today, I'm at the grocery store, turn the corner, and there is the ex-Mrs. Big.

Of course, I knew her in the pre-Big days, back when I was a L'il Slick Nut. So, I guess I shouldn't call her that.

I did not approach her. It's been 11 yrs, and I know I don't want that first conversation to be about how much weight I've put on and how I'm unemployed. I have my pride, after all. Not that she was looking her best, either, not like when she was 23. None of us do.

I wasn't sure at first, but saw her again in the parking lot. It's weird, the thing that confirmed it for me. Her walk. She has a very distinctive walk. Almost like a toe-first shuffle, with a little hitch in the hips.

Guess you have to see it.


ObligatoryPokerContent: Ugly is as ugly does.

Actually, I had one good session. A $55+5 SNG, where I got AK 4 times and won every race. The heads-up battle was epic, starting when blinds were only 100/200 and ending deep into 300/600. We each came back from being down to less than 1K at different points. I took it home, though.

Then, bounced out early on a $114 after losing two races back-to-back. Ick.


The diet's going well. I'm blogging about it regularly over at RunFatAssRun. I might actually start exercising tonight. I've been breaking into it by spending an inordinate number of hours doing carpentry work around this place. A walk should feel like a break compared to the deck I've been rebuilding this weekend.

Sunday, April 23, 2006


On my screen, my sidebar is getting pushed to the bottom of the screen as though the width of the body and sidebar exceed the available space. But, I haven't changed anything in the template; in fact, I allow buffer space, just in case.

Are the rest of you seeing it this way, or does it look normal to you? Any ideas how it happened, how I can fix it?


[update: I figured it out. I had subscribe to a feed in my blogroll whose title was very long and, for some reason, did not wrap to the next line. He's outta there!]

Oh. My.

Ok, before I get started, I saw a small spike in hits and bloglines subscriptions a couple days ago, then saw that Al linked to me in a post, so that explains it. Thanks Al!

For anyone that found me this week, I apologize for the bad beat posts and real-life drama you've been reading. Hopefully, things will get back to normal soon. Please stay tuned.

With that out of the way, howzabout a bad beat story and some real life drama, eh?


Yeah, it wasn't over. Getting bubbled by a 3-outer on the river is getting old. Damn old. I think the last guy that did it to me may be a blogger. Something about the name is familiar. Whatever. I've been in that mode where I know it's coming, no matter how long the odds against it. Break time, methinks.

Made it back to church this morning for the first time in about 3 weeks. Since the wheels started falling off about then, I figured it might be a test of whether or not there is a God. So, back to church. If things turn around, there you have it.

Oh yeah, I'm also in the process of consolidating the bits and pieces of my bankroll that are spread over a bunch of sites and depositing them into my Stars account. I also started doing the big cash-outs about the same time.

Let's see if we can confirm or deny the existence of all myths and deities related to poker performance, shall we? I'm sending the Biggettes out to look for 4-leaf clovers later, and I'm strongly considering a blood sacrifice.


So, anyway, I used to live in Jacksonville about 15 yrs ago (for 1 yr) and met my former wife here. We divorced about 11 yrs ago, and since there were no kids and no ongoing reason to stay in touch, we haven't. She didn't even respond to the annulment papers sent to her shortly after the divoce. I really don't feel anything for her anymore, one way or the other, but I've always missed her family. Really good people, you know?

Imagine my surprise when the lector at Mass starts speaking and I know the voice! Nope, not her, but her father. I walked past him after communion and made eye contact, but there was no sign he recognized me. I'm much heavier, and completely out of any context he would have expected to see me in, so it's not unexpected. They scooted out a different door afterwards, so I wasn't able to say hello.

Weird. I came home and told Mrs. Big and she got a laugh out of it. Guess we should expect more of that stuff since we weren't spring chickens when we got married and both have considerable history tied to Jax. But, I sure hope I never have meet any of the guys that banged her before I knew her. Teh suck, ya know?

Thursday, April 20, 2006


So happy to see Pauly posting again. I needed to get my Thai Hooker fix.

Personal to Pauly: I'd be proud to publish any stories you have about the seedy underbelly of the industry, if you need some relatively anonymous place to vent about the editor you saw doing lines in the mens' room and the married bracelet winner doing the bodog chicks two at a time during the dinner break.

I'm considering tagging myself as the National Enquirer of blogging. Just ask Phil Mickelson.

20 Apr 18:37:50 mickelson illegitimatech
20 Apr 18:36:46 mickelson illegitimate ch /2006/04/funny.html
20 Apr 18:36:08 mickelsonillegitima /2005_08_01_bigslicknuts_archive.html
20 Apr 16:59:12 cyndy violettemilf /2005_07_01_bigslicknuts_archive.html 20 Apr 15:04:09 phil mickelson illegitimate child /2005_03_01_bigslicknuts_archive.html
19 Apr 23:34:31 tattletails atlanta home page strip club' /2005_09_01_bigslicknuts_archive.html

Nothing like a juicy, unfounded rumor to drive traffic. Failing that, offering the opposite of what the searchers are looking for works also.

By the way, there is no truth to the rumor that Cindy Violette gave Shannon Elizabeth poker lessons in exchange for hot lesbian sex action in a strip club after a wet t-shirt contest between Jennifer Tilly boobs and what appear to be Annie Duke's new fake boobs.

[ducking and running...]


Had my first win in 7 days. If I were more motivated I'd go back and figure out if that's my longest stretch without a win. I come in first more than any other finishing position in my SNGs, even at the higher levels, so its been a... trying situation, to say the least. Prior to tonight's win, I'd played 20 SNGs in the last week, with only two 2nds and one 3rd for an ITM rate of a decidedly fishy 15%. I also dumped a few hundred playing NL ring games over the weekend. I've had to drop down to the 114's because this bad run coincided with another large cashout to pay for summer dance classes and a couple of week-long day camps. I'm considering those investments, though, as a little quiet time with the bigettes out of the house could pay nice divdends as far as the job search and ongoing pokah-playing go.

Anyway, I don't know if tonight's win was a signal that the run is coming to an end, but I'm going to pretend it is for a day or so, ok? I'll get back to grinding the AP bonus tomorrow night, and maybe dip a toe back into an SNG if I'm feeling up to it.


I'm starting to get into a rhythm for posting daily over at my weight-loss blog, RunFatAssRun. For now, I seem to be losing weight in spite of myself, which is good considering the horrible junk I've stuffed into my mouth during this crazy week. The week is coming to an end, though, and a new daily rhythm will take over next week when we complete our move to Jax.


Regarding the move: This is much harder than I anticipated. Not the hardest thing I've ever gone through by a long shot, but definitely humbling. For the last 3 weeks, the eldest biggette and I have stayed with my parents while she attended school for enough days to get credit for the year. Mrs. Big and the l'il biggette went ahead to Jax, and we've traveled to see them each weekend. Physically and emotionally, it's been draining.

Tomorrow, we leave Brooksville behind permanently. It's weird, I spent the least amount of time here growing up compared to the rest of the places we lived, but this has always been home to me. Probably because it's the place I left when I went out into the world. Or, as out into the world as you can get as a college student getting a monthly allowance from Daddy. Anyway, going home always meant going to Brooksville. Three years ago, I finally returned here to live and enjoyed being here more the second time around. But, circumstances have dictated a new path.

The first twenty years of my life were spent growing up. The last twenty years of my life were spent becoming a husband, father, and growing into a career where I was once valued but have now been cast aside. What the next twenty years will bring, I can't predict. I can only predict how I will approach the coming sea change in my life. After the last 6 months, I no longer take it for granted that I will be able to provide for my family.

I feel I have become a little harder inside for the experience. I defintely feel a "looking out for me and mine" attitude growing inside. In some ways, I think this is a good thing. Too many years spent as a company-man made me a fish in the corporate world. Do my job, don't make waves unless ethically obligated to do so, and I'd live a nice, secure existence, right?

Whether my poker ship rights itself or not, I will be taking a little of the table-shark with me into the next phase of my life. I started making money at poker, real money, as soon as I knew I HAD to. I became more disciplined, studied harder, and pushed on other people every single time I thought I had an edge by virtue of the hand I was dealt or the strategic situation I was in. Before I became a husband and father, this was how I built my career. But, obligations can make a man tight-weak, and that's no way to go through life.

Tight-agressive isn't just the right strategy at the table, it's the right strategy in life.

I don't know if the next phase will be a continuance of corporate work or taking a shot at entrereneurship, but I have a feeling I may not be seen by my co-workers in the same friendly, non-threatening light as I've permitted myself to be cast in the last few years. I'd like to be liked, but its more important to be respected.


To that end, I made a significant career decision earlier this week. I had applied for a job a few weeks ago, same industry, same job, working for a direct competitor of my last two employers. They contacted me earlier this week and it was like a switch went off in my head. The recruiter was only interested in my salary and relo requirements (located 2000 miles away), not a word about my qualifications, experience, etc. I asked myself, why should I be fucking reasonable with a second-tier company in an industry that will only need me (and use me like a Thai hooker) for the next two years, do nothing to develop me for a future with them or anyone else, and then cast me adrift?

For the money. Period.

For the last few months, my salary requirements have been coming down. Gotta get a job, gotta provide for the family, gotta get the base level in Maslov's Hierarchy of Needs set, gotta get my career back on track.

Yesterday, with this company, they went right back up. I quoted my last salary (still slightly below the national median, BTW), and told her I'd need a full relo package minus the cost of selling my home since I'd already done that (a fucking bargain for them, as anyone that has relo'd knows). She gave me their range, which was -12500 to -2500 less than my last salary. I told her I'd have to make the very top of the range right from the start, and the only way I can be flexible if I can telecommute so I don't have to move.

She couldn't get off the phone fast enough.

I can no longer tolerate stupid people with stupid companies. I've already left the industry in my mind and my heart. I'll gladly start over in a place I want to live, doing a job I'll enjoy, for a fraction of what I used to make.

In the first and second tier of that industry, there might be 20 people in the world as qualified as me to do that job, and I don't consider myself a dog to any of them. So, I just decided that I'm going to be a fucking mercenary with every inquiry I get from this industry.

Their choice is to take someone with the functional experience but no industry experience, or industry experience with no functional experience, and pay them the bottom of the range.

"Lets find someone that that's willing to do the job for this much"
Or, for 10K more, they get someone who has flawless referrals and recommendation gained from years of experience in THAT SPECIFIC JOB. Someone who will be productive in the time it takes to find the bathroom, not 6 months later after a lot of hit-and-miss efforts. Someone who understands going in that when the heavy lifting is done in 2 years, he'll be replaced by someone 10 yrs younger at half his salary (which has happened twice now).

"Lets find the best person for the job and pay him the least he's willing to
I have no problem with companies that use the latter strategy. It's the 99% that use the former that teh suck.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Mix it up...

AP started their VIP program this month, and I was grandfathered in based on my points from past play. They sent a decent reload bonus offer, good for today only - 50% up to $500. Tomorrow, I can pick up an additional 20% for $200, but I may pass. AP bonuses take a while to clear for the single-tabler - it works out to about 1pt for every $.10 of bonus. So, I have to clear 2500 raked hands with rake greater than $.50.

Yeah, teh suck.

But, I'm running so bad right now I need a change. Not losing big money on a daily basis, but I am losing small amounts consistently. I won't reprise last night's temper tantrum, but I continue to get my money in good, yadda, yadda, yadda...

So, I'm going to play some ring games at AP. I had a small profit in a 2/4 LHE hit-and-run session right after making the deposit, then picked up another $100 in a .5/1 NL game this afternoon. AP allows a buy-in of 200BBs, so it allows for alot of play. I'm not really taking a 'break' from the SNGs, just de-emphasizing them for a little while. I want to set myself a goal for ring games (yeah, yeah, don't be results-driven, I know...). I don't chase bonuses much because I struggle to break even in ring games. But, I thought it might be interesting to see if I can triple my $500 deposit to $1500 by the time I clear the final $10 of the $250. Perhaps some time spent focused on ring games will do me, and my game, some good.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006


Rough couple of days. I'd suspect bad play if it weren't for losing with KK vs. 77 twice to get busted, losing with AJ to A9, and God forbid my opponent makes a lousy call pre-flop because he has two live cards... runner-runner flushes, I'm used to, but how many times am I going to be beaten by runner-runner gutshots?



Dear Karma,

I do not doubt your powers.

But really, you owe me.




Gotta catch up on my blogs, so apologies if I'm out of the loop. I'm all kinds of busy this week. If I can't turn the poker around in the next few hours, I may just bag it for the week since my time stresses aren't going to make it anyeasier. If there's one thing I can pinpoint that I'm doing wrong, it's that I'm playing too passively in key situations. I need to be doing ALOT more stealing to gather what chips I can so I'm not always short-stacked at critical moments.

Lord knows, I can't count on dominant hands to hold up.


I'll watch over you, Katherine.

I'm a plane ticket, pair of binoculars, and an uncomfortable approach away from being a stalker.


Saturday, April 15, 2006

Something to think about: A Good Idea

I don’t pimp new bloggers often enough, but this guy had a great idea that I thought deserved an audience, especially since a few of you work for poker sites. He’s a 2+2’er and multi-tabler. He asked ‘Stars if he could donate the value of his FPPs to charity (see e-mail thread in his April 14th post). I don’t know if it was his idea originally or he took action based on someone else, but this is where I came across it. I think this is a great idea, and could be a great PR move for poker sites.

I know there is only one thing I REALLY want with my FPPs, and after that I’d be willing to donate them as well. I just don’t play FPP tournaments much anymore, so there’s no reason for me to keep them beyond material reasons. I am already cashing a percentage of my weekly profit and donating it to charity and church, so this would just be a natural extension of that practice. Be it social responsibility or just an offering to the poker gods for good karma, it makes me feel good.

Anyway, you guys at ‘Stars and Full Tilt (and anyone else out there) should take a look at the PGA (and, to a lesser extent, NFL-United Way) for the PR value. How many times do you see the PGA ads touting the millions of dollars raised by tour events every year for local charities? Here’s your script:

Narrator: To date, the players at PokerStars have donated $3 million to charities around the world. Just by playing, they provide meals to children in refugee camps, provide funds for researchers looking to cures to life-threatening diseases, and a warm bed and shelter for those ravaged by mother nature….

The poker sites have done great work putting together charity tournaments when the need arises, and I’m sure some of them have an active charitable program they do out of their own profits. This isn’t a replacement for any of that; rather, it’s an extension of the idea. How hard is it to assign a monetary value to an FPP and cut a check? It wouldn’t have to be to ‘any charity, anywhere’, which isn’t practical since these are global companies with global playerbases - there’s no way to filter deserving charities from scams in an efficient manner. But, there could be a list of qualified charities from each region that allow the player to direct his FPPs where he wants. That’s certainly doable. The sites already know how much an FPP is worth to them because they assign prizes and tournament entries with them, so why should they care if I want an iPod or a donation to the Red Cross? Cutting a check to Red Cross is quick and requires a $.39 stamp; an iPod requires the cost of holding inventory, and the labor and shipping cost to get it to me. I’d be willing to bet that, in the long run, charitable donations will save these sites real dollars that go directly to the bottom line.

There’s also the matter of utilizing this program to attract new players. When you were new to online poker, weren’t you afraid of … well… everything? What, I have to give out a credit card number/bank account number? Will my money still be there in the morning? Aren’t those other players hustlers who just want to steal my money?

Would you have felt a little more secure if you’d been influenced by a PR campaign that included the messaging I used above? Would you have downloaded the software the second or third time you went to the website, rather than the sixth or seventh time like I did? Would you have moved from play money to real money after a week, rather than two months like I did?

So, there it is, something to think about. Kudos to Schwab for putting it out there. Great idea!

Oh yeah, if any of you at the poker sites think this is a good idea but you need a Program Manager to administer it… well… I still need a job (as we all know)… write me…


A Tool Review

Nerd pointed us to this a few days ago. It’s been a useful tool for getting an albeit simplified picture of your opponents. Right now, there is no detail like you get in PokerTracker, but they do seem to capture every single SNG at Stars right now which is something PT can’t do for you. So, it’s good for getting the macro data on your opponents.

Some of this data is… well… eye-opening. I’ve run across people that have lost in excess of $20K playing SNGs since the data started. It’s not unusual to find multiple $3-$5k losers at my table, and I nearly always have 2 fish at the table. Sharksope classifies as a fish if your ROI is below –20%. I have to wonder, are they people on a recent rush, stepping up to ride the rush? Losers trying to chase losses? Winners in other games, blowing off steam? Problem gamblers?

Every time I see one of these people at my table, I want to type in, “Should you be here?” Of course, the answer to that question is a resounding “yes!” from my point of view, but still…

Most of the regulars are profitable, and a majority of them have little shark fins next to their names. During the day, I’m usually the only shark (ick, I hate that I’m considered that) at the table, unless the big multi-tablers get an early start. While some of them don’t have the 20%+ ROI required for that classification in the database, they are good, dangerous opponents that demand respect. Earning 17%, 18%, 19% while playing 8+ tables at a time is scary. I’ve seen one guy as high as 25% after nearly 3000 tournaments, and he plays 8-10 at a time. At night, it’s not unusual to have 3 sharks, and another 2-3 quality multi-tablers at a table.

I use the data to just get a snapshot of who I want to play hands against. I know that I have to hold great hands against the sharks in the early rounds because I could be forced to play a big pot at any time. The solid multi-tablers are ‘fit-or-fold’ players in the early rounds, but extremely dangerous in the later rounds because of a willingness to gamble for the double-up they need to make the money. I actually don’t pick on the fish much early. I let them splash around, collect their chips, maybe get lucky once or twice and take out a good player after they push with their four-flush on the flop when there’s only T150 in the pot to crack trip aces. In an ideal world, I want 3 fish with me at the bubble. Don’t get me wrong: if I get a hand against them, I play it. I might take a small pot or two off of them if the situation is right. But, I’m not going out of my way taking big risks early just because they’re fish.

Anyway, I dropped a line to Sharkscope asking about their future plans, specifically whether there will be a subscription service to allow more than 10 searches/day. Here’s the answer:

Glad to hear you are enjoying using SharkScope. We will be offering a
premium service with greater access and functionality very soon (probably as
soon as tomorrow).



Sharkscope Support

Friday, April 14, 2006

More Ying & Yang

Much thanks to everyone who commented yesterday about my dog. No need for money, Daddy, but thanks for the thought. Our issue is that we’re living in someone else’s house, and they didn’t want him here. We have another dog that gets along fine with the cat, and he’s welcome anytime.

Well, Mrs. Big picked him up yesterday from the woman that tried to foster him. She also had to make a command decision, and I know how hard it was for her and respect her for doing it. We heard that many of the local shelters are expecting this weekend to be a big adoption weekend due to the holiday, so she was able to convince a no-kill shelter to take him. We’re sure he’ll be placed quickly due to his great temperament with people, especially kids. But, that still doesn’t make it any easier. We were both in tears yesterday when she called to tell me. Neither of us has had the nerve to tell the kids yet. They aren’t old enough to understand the situation, so they’re going to take it hard and look to blame someone.


It looks like Mrs. Big may have a part-time job soon, teaching pre-k here in Jax. So, that’s good.

Poker-wise, yesterday was interesting. When I go through little runs as far as cashing/not cashing in SNGs, I’ll just stop playing for the day. Either I’ve won enough, or lost enough. The only time I play a lot of sessions in a single day is when I’m alternating not-cashing with some thirds and occasional seconds, staying basically breakeven. There’s something that drives me to be a winner or a loser for a day, and those breakeven days just frustrate me.

Anyway, yesterday started off rough, so rough I would normally bag it. Four straight losses at the $225 turbos would usually get me to turn off the PC and come back tomorrow. But, I was feeling like I was playing well, so I stuck it out to finish with 2 wins in my last 3 for a $315 profit and 20% ROI on the day for 4 table hours. It felt good to keep it together and avoid the tilt, just keep playing my game and knowing it would all work out in the end.

BuccaneerMike is the only person in my real life that knows the real extent of my recent success. Mrs. Big has an inkling because of a couple of sizeable cashouts I’ve done to pay for a few things, but I suspect she thinks I’ve made about half of what I’ve actually made. If she knew how high I play, she’d have a conniption. BuccaneerMike tells me I should just say “fuck it” and do this for a living, but I just can’t see it. I don’t think I have the temperament. There’s just something inside me that tells me I won’t play the same way when it’s my rent/mortgage on the line. I like being able to provide for some necessities and the occasional luxury during this time, but I’d much rather have a real job with a steady salary and benefits. Landlords and mortgage companies prefer their customers to have real jobs, and my entire focus right now is getting out of this place. I would much prefer poker to have its place in my life as a vehicle I use to pay down some debt and fund some retirement/college accounts. That alone would be huge, and I could certainly count myself among the lucky few.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Ying and Yang

My poker life and real life can't seem to get in sync.

Lots of job action last week, with bad poker results.

Bad news on the job front this week, great poker results.


Anyway, just an update for everyone that commented about my webcam interview:

It sucked.

I wore the suit. The interviewers (there were 3) started asking their questions and I looked into the camera and started my answers, the same answers I've given a hundred times, and I made the mistake of looking down at the screen.

They were talking and laughing. It didn't even appear they were listening to me.

I stopped talking, waiting for them to pay attention, and lost my train of thought. This would repeat itself for the next ten minutes, at which time they mercifully ended the interview.

I don't know if I should be pissed at them for their bad manners and etiquette, or at myself for letting it throw me and not saying something like, "I can wait until you finish your conversation."
The recruiter was good enough to call me this week and let me know they were moving on. That's a first. But, depressing nonetheless.

I have another position in the hopper, but they're slow to move to who knows what's going to happen there?

To top it off, we're having trouble placing one of our dogs in a foster home. Our in-laws have a cat and he doesn't like cats, so we can't move him in there. He's a fantastic dog, great with kids, obedience-trained, can hold his pee all day, but he's used to being an alpha. The lady that agreed to take him in for us has an older dog and they get along except when the older dog wants to come near the lady. Our dog insists on being closest to the master/mistress, so she told us yeterday it isn't going to work out. Mrs. Big is running him to a kennel for a couple days until we can find a new place. We had been hoping to have him fostered until we got our own place in a few months, because we love him very much and want him back in the family. But, at this point we'd allow someone to keep him permanently if it meant we can avoid going the shelter route.

If any of you are in driving distance of Jacksonville, Florida, and would like to foster/adopt a great dog, please let me know. It's killing me that my family is having to go through this all because I lost my job.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006


I rarely check my website stats, but there was a spike that started Sunday and continued through Monday. I checked into where the hits were coming from, wanting to thank whoever had hooked me up and make sure I reciprocated.

Alas, 42% of the hits were from google searches looking for information about Phil Mickelson's illegitimate child. Ahhh, The Master's....

Ok, to save you time, here's what I know:


The first time I heard the rumor it was through the same google search strings on my hits after the last major Phil won. And the only reason those came to me was because I once posted a rumor I'd heard about Lefty and his wife being in deep with the Vegas casinos for a mid-7-figure number, and this being the reason for switching his club endorsement deal the week before the Ryder's cup.

Again, just a rumor. I think I got it second-hand off some nationally syndicated sports radio show. And posted it here only because my normal readers might find a story of such a huge casino loss interesting.

Anyway, I hope Phil keeps up his winning ways. It's good for traffic.

I wonder what would happen if I posted a rumor I heard about Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera's bathroom catfight after the Grammy's a few years back....? ;-)

Monday, April 10, 2006

Let's just bounce around a bit today...


Pokah kicked my ass last week. First losing week in a long time. Not TOO bad, but bad enough. Most of the week, I was playing well and getting my money in good but getting drawn out on. Over the weekend, I think I might have been pushing too much, trying to make something happen even when I wasn't getting good cards. Instead of waiting for a hand, I was trying to be creative.

I should know by now not to do that.

This morning started off with more of the same, getting crushed playing 6-max limit, then settling in to play a few 45-seat MTTs for the challenge. By then, I knew I was pushing too hard, so I got back in my game.

3 bustouts, 2 on bad beats. The third was a final-table bubble play on the only guy that could bust me when I pushed with A8s and got called by AJo.

But, I felt like I played pretty well, so I stepped back into my turbo SNGs and played a good solid game. There was one player at the table that I knew was a huge fish, having lost something like $20K in SNGs alone in the last few months. Four-handed, I had a big chiplead and he was the shortstack. Normally, I try to attack who I think is the weakest player in this spot, regardless of chipstack, but I knew the other two players were very solid from previous games so I wanted to see if I could engineer a heads-up match with the weak player. He was on my immediate left, so I just folded my small blind to him for a couple of orbits while changing gears alot and doing alot of attacking on the middle stacks. I got my wish and went heads-up with the fish with a 5:1 advantage and blinds only at 100/200.

He folded alot. I mean, ALOT. Any sign of aggression and I knew he had me beat, so I'd just fold. This kept up through several dozen hands - I raise, he folds; he folds his SB; or he raises, I fold.

He managed to get a slight chiplead on a draw-out, but he had two live cards and the blinds had gotten very high at that point, so I can't begrudge him that. I took him down the next hand, though, when i picked up JJ to beat his KJ and leave him with an M of 1. After a much longer and more difficult heads-up match than I'd anticipated, I finally managed the win.


By the way, is there any smell more distinctive than stripper funk?

Baby powder, cheap perfume, and the dried spunk of the guys that came during their previous lap dances.

I'm just saying...

Anybody else missing Pauly?


Thursday, April 06, 2006

So much to blog about, so little time...

First things first:

I am poker champ.

With that out of the way...


Moving day was Monday. Mrs. Big and the lil Biggette are in Jax at my in-laws house, while the eldest Biggette and I are with my parents for two more weeks until she has enough days attendance at school to get credit for completing the first grade. We aren't worried about the actual work, since she's miles ahead of where she's supposed to be.

Ahem. I likes bragging on my kids. ;-)

So, it's been stressful this week. Tried to fit in a few sessions and sucked hind tit most of the time. As soon as things calmed down today, my win rate went back to normal. Funny how that works.


Also, my doctor prescribed a weight loss medication earlier this week. I wrote about it in a little more detail over at RunFatAssRun.

For all intents and purposes, it seems to be Speed. It remains to be seen how it will affect poker. I felt like I was playing a little fast and loose yesterday and this afternoon while still under the effects of it, but slowed down to my more normal patient style this evening. How much of that is the meds and how much was the stress of "squeezing-in" sessions, I'm not sure. But I'm defintely going to track my performance by hours removed from taking the meds to see if there are any patterns.


Still not caught up with all my bloglines, but I'm getting there. Managed to get to the middle of the "P's", so if you're before P alphabetically I've probably read you by now.

Nerd posted about this. I liked seeing my own stats for ego reasons (BigSlickNut = 'Stars), but hate that opponents may be able to get enough of an insight to change their game and tighten up when they play into me. I'm debating about whether to request taking my name out of the database (actually, leaning heavily toward taking it out). I like to be as anonymous as possible, something not always possible at the higher buy-ins when you see some of the same players over and over. The ego boost of having good numbers out there publicly doesn't compare to the ego boost of seeing bigger numbers privately. But, I'll probably subscribe to the service. In a test I did in a $114 turbo tonight, two other players rated out as sharks, and all 3 of us made the money. I made mine by staying away from them unless I had great cards or great odds.

Here's a bit of advice for those just starting out: DO NOT use avatars! It makes it that much easier for people to remember you and your play. Unfortunately, 'Stars only lets you chage an avatar just once after it's been uploaded, then you're shit-out-of-luck.

I'm shit-out-of-luck.


Hopefully, I can get in enough sessions this weekend to get back to even for the week. I think I'm down ~$300, but I won't know for sure until I can get back on a PC with Excel and update my spreadsheets. I did a couple of cashouts for a number of reasons, shifted some money around, and I'm not real clear in my head how I stand right now. Heading up to Jax Saturday, so at least I'll know by then. I think I'm on an 8 or 9 week win streak, so I'm due for a loss or two but I'd sure like to put that bill off as long as possible.

Out of the loop

This is moving week for my family, and it's been crazy. No time to read, post, or play. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, though, so hopefully I'll be able to take a few hours to veg out and catch up.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Getting it in under the wire: Drizz made me do it

"Luck never gives; it only lends." -- wedish Proverb

It's that time again; I have a belly full of Guinness and a ton of material to get out because I've been too busy skiing in Ireland and riding tour buses with old people in Aspen. Or something like that.

But first, let me get this out of the way: Bonus Code Iggy! Now, on to Destroying Workplace Productivity.

Wait a minute: That Gary Carson is a cranky, funny fuck.

That's all. I don't have anything to post, but Gary pays me $20 to publish his name at least once a month.

Second, how about a funny picture that has nothing to do with anything I'm about to cut-and-paste:

Now, let’s hear from JoeSpeaker:

April Fool's Day "Be Your Favorite Blogger" Submission. Seven Hours Early Because I'm Going to Morongo Tonight. Bitches.

There are things about which I am serious and things about which I am blase and, without a doubt, soap scum--and the eradication thereof--falls in the former camp. Even the slightest hint of that filmy plague can send me into a furious pique of dervishry, and if you've ever had one of those, you know it can be both frightening and hallucination-inducing. It was in such a mind that I donned my rubber gloves (a
light blue to match my fabulous eyes) and my cleaning product of choice,which is so downright lemony that its mere presence makes me feel like I'm being propelled down a citrus waterslide.

So I'm scrubbing away with the elbow and grease both working in maximum and syncopated overdrive, the poor little 49-cent sponge disintegrating under the pressure--like the occasional Space Shuttle--when I let my concentration slip. It was only the briefest of moments, but the scars will last at least until I win the $17K again.

What happened was this: I had buffed the porcelain of our bathtub to a shocking whiteness. The sun that FINALLY peeked through the clouds was intense in its glare and with laser-like precision, bounced a ray right off that shimmering sea of cleanliness into my eyes. Momentarily blinded, I threw up my sponge hand in alarm, slamming it against the vanity mirror, which cracked, sending splinters of glass, both large and small, throughout the room. One of them, particularly ornery and opinionated, flew right through the loose shoulder of my fabulous sweater (much like Barbara Billingsley, I clean in only my finest garments, or nothing at all; unlike Barbara Billingsley, I'm not afraid to tell the PTA ladies to "suck it") and into the wall, actually pinning me there, as if nailed to a cashmere cross, or to a cross wearing cashmere or something, quit being such a pedantic twit.

Recovering from the shock, I called out for my husband, Hugh, that's not his name...I forget his name...I haven't seen him since the Carter Administration, but he's a furry guy, huggable like a bear or a giant ape. I then screamed for my impossibly cute kids, but they were playing Pot Limit Omaha all the way down stairs and from the shouts and table-slamming, the game was pretty raucous. So I sat there for a while, contemplating my fate, wondering why my arms were paralyzed, as if someone had put Durex Maintain inside my gloves. I could not free myself.

Maybe I was just in shock. I don't know. But I fell asleep there. In the morning, I woke to find myself freed. And wrapped in my favorite blanket. That was nice, whoever did that. Fucker didn't have to leave me on the bathroom floor, though.


Wait, here's another non-sensical picture:

And then Drizz weighs in:

860th Greatest Poker Player

As the 860th greatest poker player (as of 6/3/05) I often have to fend off pesky things like women wanting me to autograph their newly minted 36 DDDs on the way to work. This greatly annoys me as there’s only so much Bobby Bracelet I can give back to the community while keeping it real.

And keeping it real I do.

Between my charitable work of exterminating the world of douchebaggery and making sure Playboy Bunnies are sexually satisfied daily there’s little time for Bobby Bracelet to think about Bobby Bracelet. When I stand in front of a mirror and admire the hunk and the junk looking back at me, I often theorize how difficult it must be for people to go through life and not be me. Alas, this my way of giving back to the people (even that fuck-tard at Arby’s who spent five minutes at the drive-thru window deciding between a curly fries and a potato cake only to ask for sliced apricots instead because his shoe size IQ wouldn’t allow his Michelob Ultra bottle cap sized brain process the fact that Arby’s doesn’t serve sliced apricots and he should stab himself in the face for displaying an act of stupidity unseen since Larry the janitor used his 1000 original shares of Microsoft as toilet paper back in 1979 and now is resigned to playing bingo every night at the VFW for beer money).

Where was I?

Oh yes, giving to the people. I am a giver, just ask those three ladies that confirmed my junk and lived to tell the tale. I hear they have orgasms from just hearing the word “Bobby”. I, Bobby Bracelet of WSOP and iPod fame will teach YOU how to not suck at life. I introduce this awe-flipping-some tome of daily affirmations so you too can block out all the ass-tards in your life.

OneTooMany: The Guide to Becoming a Poker God (like me)

Chapters will include:

- “Yes, my junk is huge, but I have standards” (how to get women begging for more)

- A guide on check-raising douchebag tourists off their straight flushes

- What to do when faced with a decision of going home with the blonde or a brunette

It pains me to give away my secrets, but Bobby Bracelet is giver not a receiver I just don’t swing like that.

Run don't walk to buy my book now before it’s too late. Peace.

And Jordan speaks up:

Country Livin'

I got home last night from the bowling alley (236, 270, 178-don’t ask) and I was itching for a game. I IM’ed TripJax and he was done for the night. The regular 45-person SNG was not filling up very fast, so, against my better judgment, I entered the $6 + .50 Turbo 45-person SNG. Apparently, my judgment sucks! I took 1st.

I played the entire game very loose, seeing a 15% of the flop with such questionable hands as JJ and TT!!! I know, I usually like to keep it tight as a rock, but last night I felt like gambowling...that's a bowling joke. I was the short stack once ITM, but I expertly played my AA, KK and AK to win it in the end.

I haven’t done much playing on the laptop since I got it, in fact, I’ve only played one SNG on it so far. The biggest problem is clearing the screen. My old laptop was easy. All I had to do was pick it up and shake it and the pictures would all clear. It was a real perty one too, all cherry red with two white

I'm looking forward to going to the summer home, which is surprisingly further in the sticks then my present location in Bumblefuck, Oklahoma. The plan is to cut down some trees, hunt some coons for dinner, (racoons, because the other ones are not in season), drink some Keystone Light and sing karaoke country songs. I'm not sure which one I'll start with, but it's between the song about kissing cousins or the song about losing my job, my wife, running over my dog, and getting a headache. I sure do love me some country music! YEE HAW!

Happy hump-day.


I'm posting this picture taken the last time I was in Barcelona because it's important people know that Catalonia is its own country:

Here goes Scurvy, opening up old wounds:

By ScurvyDog

Things are still going great. I'm really not sure what the fuss is with some people, because every time I sit down to play 3/6, it's like some creepy old dude keeps slipping $100 bills in my thong. I added up the totals for the month and I'm $19,202 ahead, if you count the $4,182 I got in bonuses.

Some people out there keep accusing me of lying but I just don't get it. It must be that cranky bitch Felicia who's pretending to be all of them. They keep saying that my math is wrong, that there's no possible way I can make that much money at 3/6 playing as few hours as I do. But what can I say, every month I seem to win more and more. I think they're all just inbred like Felicia.

I continue to play 3/6 and just play as rocklike as possible, though I have found of late I am actually having more success by calling more and raising less. I have been calling with AK and AQ in early position, and dropping them if I miss.

I think people just don't understand what it takes to be a pro. Just play like a rock and stick to 3/6 and you'll be living the high life like Pat and I. Every month since I turned pro has been better than the one before it!