The hospital my father is in is located right down the road from our favorite little redneck/biker bar, which I've written about several times. We were all emotionally spent, so two of my brothers and I stopped in for a drink after ICU visiting hours closed.
Regardless of how dead or how busy it is, there's always something interesting going on. Here's a sampling:
1. "Hey man, remember me? How you doing man, haven't seen you in forever?" - random drunk at the end of the bar to T-Love as soon as we walked in the door. T-Love walked over, shook the guy's hand, and had a 3 minute conversation. I asked T-Love how he knew that guy, and he said, "I've never seen him before in my life." The drunk guy continued to shout across the bar like he knew T-Love.
2. In response to my expressing wonderment at the truly blessed breasts on the bartender, BuccaneerMike said, "Oh, I've seen them." I told him I didn't want to know. Then he said, "I've also seen a video of her taking it up the ass. A cell-phone video."
3. Among the truly awful karaoke singers was a woman with some real talent, but she kept doing this really annoying growly-bluesy thing that just didn't fit her voice. I commented, "Bet she's practicing for the American Idol tryouts." BuccaneerMike said, "Actually, she used to have a recording contract and was big-time, until the heroin and booze caught up with her."
4. Drunk guy starts dancing. Skinny, pancake-titty drunk chick joins him with some moves that I'm sure she thought were seductive. Drunk chick's husband, sporting a World-Class Mullet, drags her off the dance floor. Drunk guy tries to sit down on a stool against the far wall, but misses and takes out every stool and table along 20 linear feet of the wall. He was stopped by the jukebox.
5. Beret-and-gold-chain-wearing old white guy grabs a CANE, and chases drunk guy out of the place.
6. Beret-and-gold-chain-wearing old white guy walks over to T-Love and says "Hey man, remember me?" Turns out he was the chef at the country club we belonged to as kids and where T-Love pretty much lived when he was building truly awesome golf skills. T-Love remembered the face, but couldn't place it; Beret-and-gold-chain-wearing old white guy said "Cheesesteak, onion rings, and a large diet coke". That was T-Love's standing order in the BAR, and he remembered the guy immediately after that comment.
7. Curiosity getting the better of me, I ask BuccaneerMike who it was on the video ass-banging the bartender. He said, "You see that old white guy wearing the beret and the gold chain...?"
Good times.
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