Friday, June 29, 2007

Sick, twisted stuff here

barbie cummings porn pornstar slut
Remember Barbie Cummings, the cum bucket porn actress in Knoxville that got pulled over for speeding and the trooper found drugs so she blew him?

She has one effed up mind. To wit:
I want to fuck a dog.

:-)

I think a lot about getting railed, "doggy" style by a big well hung dog. My favorite kind of pornography is bestiality porn.


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Florida is moving up in limits

This Sunday, a new law goes into effect in Florida that raises the betting limits for poker played in parimutuel facilities from $2 to $5 for limit games, and introduces no-limit games with $100 max buy-ins.

Really. No fooling! Can you believe it, in the current legislative environment?

I did my write-up, complete with links to Rini, from my Florida blog: New poker law in Florida

I might actually be tempted to hit the track and get my gambool on with all the l'il fishies this article will bring out. Haven't been there in a couple Christmases, since I had my KK cracked by a runner-runner straight, with 2-4 offsuit being the hole cards. The Ace hit on the river. I was pissed because I figured her for some raggedy A-x, because the old ladies in these places can't lay down any ace. My head exploded when I saw that 2-4o.

But, when you're only playing 1/2 LHE, what can you expect? Tilt wasn't the word for what happened afterwards.

Ah well, now that we can get a little closer to real poker, one thought has been going through my head:

Gotta get my 'roll together.


Digg!



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Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Wherein I suck

Busted out of the Mookie in 10 minutes. Overplayed JJ pre-flop on what I thought was a simple steal.

Um... wrong. Ran into QQ.

Doh!

All my money still would've gone in on the raggedy flop, so it didn't matter in the end. And, that Q on the river just added insult to injury...


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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

What if you sponsored something and the world said, "So what?"

I'm sure we've all been waiting and holding our breath for this match-up:



Ok, I get it - Southwest Airlines flies to Vegas, the WPT shows are watched by gamblers. But, Southwest doesn't like fat people. So why sponsor a poker program?

;-)



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Monday, June 25, 2007

No poker this weekend

I did PLAN to play, but then I did something dumb.

So, no poker, and no blogging. I was just too pissed at myself. Plus, I find it kind of hard to form complete sentences when doped up on leftover Vicodin.

Yeah, there's another batch of spam e-mails I'm gonna get. @#$%^!!!!

Hey spammers, don't bother sending me your e-mails - I get mine legally, paid for by insurance. Go away!

I did play in the Donkament on Friday night, doing my usual suckout-to-build-a-huge-stack-then-bust-out-right-after-the-rebuy-period. 'Cuz that's how I roll.





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Friday, June 22, 2007

Free Links for the Ladies

Send me a picture of yourself with a sign (or a tattoo!) like the one below. You won't get any money, but you will get links and a lifetime of shame.








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Thursday, June 21, 2007

How to tilt the table captain

Back from another forced break. Mrs. Big had surgery this week. So far this year:

Me: gallbladder
Dad: appendix & diverticulitis - separate surgeries
Mrs Big: female stuff

But these things only happen in threes, so I can go back to abusing myself for the rest of the year.

---------------

Playing in a SNG on FT where the chat was priceless...
Milan_83: i am getting a BJ right now guys
BigSlickNut: dude!
one hand goes by....
Milan_83: this is why i played kinda tight
BigSlickNut: finished already?? lol
Milan_83: yup
a couple hands go by, then I get dealt a suited hammer in the BB on a short stack, and go for the trap by smooth-calling the UTG min-raise... ;-)
Seat 1: BigSlickNut (935)
Seat 2: Milan_83 (2,500)
Seat 3: Dwindi (1,360)
Seat 7: raptor65 (5,335)
Seat 8: shontax (2,310)
Seat 9: BJ_Services (1,060)
BJ_Services posts the small blind of 50
BigSlickNut posts the big blind of 100
The button is in seat #8
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to BigSlickNut [2s 7s]
Milan_83 raises to 200
Dwindi folds
raptor65 folds
shontax folds
BJ_Services folds
BigSlickNut calls 100
*** FLOP *** [9d Jh 7h]
BigSlickNut bets 735, and is all in
Milan_83 has 15 seconds left to act
Milan_83: you have nothing
Milan_83 has requested TIME
Milan_83 is sitting out
Milan_83 has timed out
Milan_83 folds
Uncalled bet of 735 returned to BigSlickNut
Milan_83 has returned
BigSlickNut mucks
BigSlickNut wins the pot (450)
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 450 | Rake 0
Board: [9d Jh 7h]
Seat 1: BigSlickNut (big blind) collected (450), mucked
Seat 2: Milan_83 folded on the Flop
Seat 3: Dwindi didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: raptor65 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 8: shontax (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 9: BJ_Services (small blind) folded before the Flop

Dwindi: nothing but the winning hand:)
Milan_83: you win
BigSlickNut: don't be mad, you got the bj... ;-)
Milan_83: i guess you are a better player
BigSlickNut: actually, you're the better player, if you know what i mean
a bunch of hands go by and I bust out pushing 6-6 from the BB into a limped 9-9 SB
BigSlickNut [Observer]: hey Milan, what was his name?
Milan_83: whose name??
BigSlickNut [Observer]: the guy that gave you the bj...
Man, I'm so funny...



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Monday, June 18, 2007

The Most Dangerous Game

I don't cross-post between my blogs very often... but y'all need to read this:

Only in FLA: The Most Dangerous Game

Sunday, June 17, 2007

How do you know when you're running well?

When you get crippled by two runner-runner rivers and still make the money.

Still, I'm playing well, too. Staying alive, surviving. Making one big play, getting my money in with the best of it, and all that stuff.

Been a while since I've felt it like this.

Hey, thanks to Trip and Hoff for commenting on my post about the douchebag-cheater. You're right.




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Friday, June 15, 2007

The hole in the "Tony is Dead" theory

Meadow was walking in the diner, facing Tony, and there was no sign of a threat in her face.

So, quit trying to read into it. David Chase simply said "Fuck it". Now, y'all are giving him an out. To hell with that, screw that bastard!



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Thursday, June 14, 2007

I hope this guy has a blog and goes off on a rant

I submitted this to FT a few weeks ago about what I felt was a solicitation for collusions in a low-buy-in SNG:
lifer1441 - colluding on hand 2523474751

Lifer1441 openly stated that he wanted to check-down an all-in player before he made his call.

Regards,

xxxxxxxxxxxx
"BigSlickNut"
Yeah, I'm leaving his screen name in because he's a cheating asshat. If you're him, or know him, tell him I said "tough noogies". Good players know when to check down and when not. Let the bad players make their mistakes.

FT's reponse:
I will be happy to look into this matter and take the appropriate action. I will conduct a thorough review of their play. We?ll be in contact if we find this player definitively exercising successful collusion tactics.

In the case of a player soliciting other players to cheat by chatting or speaking of a hand while play is still in progress; we will suspend their chat privileges and if the practice is continued we will permanently close their Full Tilt Poker account.

Your thoughts? I think the act of asking other players to collude is grounds for termination of the account, not suspension of chat. I know I'm being nit-picky with it being a low-dollar game and all, but I'm a proponent of zero tolerance for cheaters. He obviously intended to cheat here and solicited another player to collude with him to do so.

But, I could just be acting like a douchebag by taking this stuff so seriously...

(Yes, I spoke up in chat to tell him to stop)



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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

I'm losing sleep over this

I don't know who to trust anymore.

Has Phil Hellmuth won his 11th bracelet?
Is Milwaukee Best Light REALLY the sponsor of the WSOP Player of the Year award?
Is PokerNews REALLY reporting on the $1500 NLHE Shootout?

What's real? What's not?

I'm from the deep south, and when you mess with me, I'll make you squeal like a pig - soooooooEEEEE!

--------------------

Shut up, I was only kidding. Go check out the coverage, but know that the best WSOP reports are the after-action reports from Pauly and Change100. Oh yeah, Otis too. It's an Otisian world.

--------------------

I don't care what David Chase says in the interviews. He still sucks. I'd have more respect if he'd had the balls to kill Tony and show the body. But, you know, he's gotta keep his movie options open.

Cut to black... puh-lease...



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Sunday, June 10, 2007

David Chase = Big Pussy


Whatsamattah? Couldn't decide how to end it? Jail? Death? Happily ever after? So you leave it THAT way? Really? That's how you want to end this thing of ours?

Please. You're better than that. Or, you were. Maybe you're right, maybe it's time to end this.





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Thursday, June 07, 2007

PokerLetter.org

Hey, how about some poker blog content on this poker blog?

If you haven't checked it out yet, the blog at PokerLetter.com has an interesting mix of coverage across the poker world. Hard poker news mixed with fun stuff like the "Ten Hottest Poker Babes" and the "5 Best Pros Without a WSOP Bracelet" are some of my favorites. Although I may have to take issue with ranking Shannon Elizabeth and Liz Lieu at #9 and #10 respectively, well below Chantel McNulty who came in at #5. I don't care how big her new breasts are, Liz and Shannon are the leading candidates to be the next Mrs. Big; Chantel is the leading candidate to get $20 of my hard-earned money lap-dancing.

But all that is just the potatoes of the blog; the meat of the site is the reviews and coverage of the online poker rooms, like full tilt poker. The full tilt poker review is one of the most comprehensive I've read, covering everything from branding to deposit options, software to the full tilt poker bonus players receive when making an initial deposit. The only thing missing from the review are links to the full tilt poker download and whether or not PokerLetter has a full tilt poker bonus code available. I've read nearly every post and haven't found it, but perhaps the folks at PokerLetter.org will drop by and point us in the right direction.

Unlike many poker-related sites built solely to push the reader into an affiliate link, PokerLetter.org, the sponsor of this post, is a blog with an occasional affiliate link, and I believe we'd all feel comfortable reading on a regular basis.




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Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Go back to the Gators!

Beautiful dig at Billy D. at ESPN.com:


So I can't blame a guy for following his gut instead of his wallet. Donovan will take some hits over this for breaking a deal and appearing so indecisive. (One buddy said they should change the name of the O'Connell Center to The Waffle House.)
Quick - somebody make a T-shirt!

Hey, the Magic are my NBA team. Spent many games sitting everywhere from nosebleed to skybox.

But, once a Gator always a Gator.








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Monday, June 04, 2007

Random stuff seen and heard Friday night in a bar

The hospital my father is in is located right down the road from our favorite little redneck/biker bar, which I've written about several times. We were all emotionally spent, so two of my brothers and I stopped in for a drink after ICU visiting hours closed.

Regardless of how dead or how busy it is, there's always something interesting going on. Here's a sampling:

1. "Hey man, remember me? How you doing man, haven't seen you in forever?" - random drunk at the end of the bar to T-Love as soon as we walked in the door. T-Love walked over, shook the guy's hand, and had a 3 minute conversation. I asked T-Love how he knew that guy, and he said, "I've never seen him before in my life." The drunk guy continued to shout across the bar like he knew T-Love.

2. In response to my expressing wonderment at the truly blessed breasts on the bartender, BuccaneerMike said, "Oh, I've seen them." I told him I didn't want to know. Then he said, "I've also seen a video of her taking it up the ass. A cell-phone video."

3. Among the truly awful karaoke singers was a woman with some real talent, but she kept doing this really annoying growly-bluesy thing that just didn't fit her voice. I commented, "Bet she's practicing for the American Idol tryouts." BuccaneerMike said, "Actually, she used to have a recording contract and was big-time, until the heroin and booze caught up with her."

4. Drunk guy starts dancing. Skinny, pancake-titty drunk chick joins him with some moves that I'm sure she thought were seductive. Drunk chick's husband, sporting a World-Class Mullet, drags her off the dance floor. Drunk guy tries to sit down on a stool against the far wall, but misses and takes out every stool and table along 20 linear feet of the wall. He was stopped by the jukebox.

5. Beret-and-gold-chain-wearing old white guy grabs a CANE, and chases drunk guy out of the place.

6. Beret-and-gold-chain-wearing old white guy walks over to T-Love and says "Hey man, remember me?" Turns out he was the chef at the country club we belonged to as kids and where T-Love pretty much lived when he was building truly awesome golf skills. T-Love remembered the face, but couldn't place it; Beret-and-gold-chain-wearing old white guy said "Cheesesteak, onion rings, and a large diet coke". That was T-Love's standing order in the BAR, and he remembered the guy immediately after that comment.

7. Curiosity getting the better of me, I ask BuccaneerMike who it was on the video ass-banging the bartender. He said, "You see that old white guy wearing the beret and the gold chain...?"

Good times.




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Friday, June 01, 2007

Pimping my old school stuff

I was knocking around my archives today because I have almost no work until someone lands a damn contract around here. Found one of my favorites from way back:

The Hooker, Isaac Hayes, and Captain Eddie






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